Extraterrestrial Code in our DNA?

I was recently pointed to a hilariously absurd article called Scientists find Extraterrestrial genes in Human DNA. It saddens me that the site hosting this nonsense is associating itself with my favorite country.

Anyway, I'm sure most people would recognize this particular article for the idiotic drivel that it is (even most of the believer sites that I found referencing it seem to discuss it with an air of incredulity), but I thought it would be fun to analyze it in detail regardless. Let's look at the opening statement:

A group of researchers working at the Human Genome Project indicate that they made an astonishing scientific discovery: They believe so-called 97% non-coding sequences in human DNA is no less than genetic code of extraterrestrial life forms.

The non-coding sequences are common to all living organisms on Earth, from moulds to fish to humans. In human DNA, they constitute larger part of the total genome, says Prof. Sam Chang, the group leader. Non-coding sequences, originally known as "junk DNA", were discovered years ago, and their function remained a mystery. The overwhelming majority of Human DNA is "Off-world" in origin. The apparent "extraterrestrial junk genes" merely "enjoy the ride" with hard working active genes, passed from generation to generation.

Look at the wording of the first paragraph. It's written to imply that the astonishing discovery is that there is alien code in human DNA, but if you actually read what it's saying, the astonishing discovery is that they believe that there is alien code in human DNA. I wonder if that was intentional. Hmmmmmmmm.

They are talking about Junk DNA here. There are a lot of hypotheses as to what it is and how it formed--and I bet they are all a lot more credible than Sam Chang's "discovered" belief that it was planted there by aliens. Speaking of Prof. Chang, I did a search for his name at the Human Genome Project website, and there was nary a Chang to be found. I also checked their list of publications and, surprise, there was nothing there with any mention of extraterrestrials. A few PubMed searches showed many papers attributed to various S Changs, but none that talk about extraterrestrial origins of non-coding DNA.

Let's just think for a minute about what process would be required to scientifically test for the presence of extraterrestrial information in human DNA. The first (seemingly insurmountable) obstacle that must be overcome would be that you must know what extraterrestrial information in the human genome would look like. No problem, right? Just head on down to your local branch of Area 51 and ask the men in black for some sample data. Uh huh. Let's see how Chang approached this issue:

After comprehensive analysis with the assistance of other scientists, computer programmers, mathematicians, and other learned scholars, Professor Chang had wondered if the apparently "junk Human DNA" was created by some kind of "extraterrestrial programmer".

This paints a pretty clear picture for me. I can see the exchange now (doodity doo doodity doo doodity doo (those are the sounds of transition to a fantasy sequence in the TV show of my mind)):

Chang: I have done a comprehensive analysis of the human genome. I have called you all here to assist me.
Scientist: Who are you?
Computer programmer: You said there would be free donuts... But I don't see any...
Mathematician: Why are wee meeting in your mom's basement?
Chang: Hmmm. I bet this "junk DNA" stuff was made by aliens!
Other learned scholars: This is gay. We're leaving.

The article just gets more bizarre from there. Chang's grand hypothesis is that an alien race was working on coding an ultimate human race, the code for which is in our non-coding DNA. Due, however, to time restrictions from the alien programmers' bosses (or whatever), the aliens were forced to scrap the large code base for the ultimate humans, and release a stripped down basic version of their DNA program (ie., our coding DNA sequences). Since our "basic" version of DNA isn't as powerful as the scrapped version stored in our non-coding DNA, we are not immune to cancer (as we would be had the aliens' bosses given them an extension on the "Earth project"). The article also states in various places that this is all "verified fact" and that there is "absolute proof" to support this theory. Right.

So, let's recap:

1. Chang is probably not even a real person, and even if he is, he is grossly misrepresented in the article.


2. The article claims to be about science, but is in reality just a bunch of poorly thought-out childish fantasies.


3. The website hosting it is called The Canadian.


4. The Canadian also has articles titled AIDS is bio-terrorism created to kill billions some doctors and scientists say, Testimony claims crop circles made by "alien allies" of humanity, and Global Warming reveals that Stephen Harper and George Bush are not Christians.

What conclusions can we draw from this information? It's simple: Canadians, myself included, are full of shit, and you should never believe anything we say. Ever. Especially if it's on the Interweb.